


Compassion and candor (to drown in it)

by rosey_finch



Category: Lucidstuck - Fandom, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosey_finch/pseuds/rosey_finch
Summary: The most cruel and deceptive she is to herself.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	Compassion and candor (to drown in it)

Ever since she’s been able to think for herself, she’s been one to hold many strong opinions on many topics. These opinions, like magic, turn into truths when she shares them with others. It’s a game of tag – how many realities can she breathe into existence, how many people will listen to her gospel?

“Hey,” Lexii mouths as she tip-toes closer across the fuzzy carpet and towards the couch. In her hands she holds a steaming mug of something warm and comforting, cradling it with the same care Alice has seen her waste on some of Derrick’s interchangeable entourage. A hug here, a kind word there.

Alice doesn’t pretend to understand – or actually, she _does_ pretend. Drama, gossip or concerns from Lexii’s mouth (sweet and tinted): it all reads like intel to her. It’s served her well in the past and it will continue to in the future. It takes no effort to ooh and ahh and gasp when expected, but in the comfort of her own mind, she’s free to ponder and consider. To wonder when emulation of empathy stops being emulation, when it becomes a bad habit, and if bad habits define you.

She’s there’s been a lot of that; pondering and considering. Head on her palm, staring ahead, trailing thoughts she doesn’t finish – and that’s funny, how Derrick-esque is that? Except she isn’t afraid of what goes on in her head. It’s what _isn’t_ going on, that’s been driving up the wall. Less and less of him; more and more of her. Not very Alice-esque. Not very funny either.

Her dreams have become less and less comprehensible for it, not as crisp and clear and they once were, but vague and incomprehensible. Instead of diving into a world of possibility, dreaming’s become akin to peering in from the surface, trying to make sense of shapes and ripples that elude her understanding.

She hasn’t been sleeping much.

In the face of Lexii’s bedhead, pillow-creased cheeks and gullible disposition, she feels no hurry to figure it out, though. The couch dips, and only with a warm body touching hers, Alice notices how cold she is. “You’re freezing!” Lexii complains, a worried frown pulling at her lips. She takes care handing the cup over, it’s scalding, before reaching for a blanket – discarded on the armrest the night before, when the movie ended, and they got up to something that would warm them just fine. After, Lexii asleep and satiated, Alice went downstairs and watched the snow fall down outside, little flakes pilling up.

It’s hard to have it your way, when you don’t know what you want.


End file.
